Why him? Why can't he make anyone happy?
He tries well he really does but no matter what he does he f*cks it up. These are the thoughts Blitzø had while he sat at a bar drinking.
After the full moon incident with Stolas, he decided that he needed a drink or maybe two. Now he sat at the old bar chair with his head dropped on the counter top.
“Hey imp, if you want to sleep, go outside and find yourself a nice cardboard box to sleep in haha” says a demon, nudging his shoulder and laughing.
“The f*ck? I was just lost in thoughts.” Blitzø said in an annoying way.
“Who are you de f*cking don't you know in which territory you are? Better go now before we kick that little ass off yours out of the bar!” He treats and cracks his knuckles.
Actually Blitzø would have fought these people but lost in his thoughts and self hatred he decides to just plop off the bar chair and rush out. He got himself seated in his car and drove home.
At home he laid down on the couch and started to cry. He looked around at all the pictures, his face scribbled with some black ink. It looked better this way without him.
He turned around and around on the couch but couldn't help the hurt feeling inside. Why does he feel so hurt and self hatred? Did he really think that he was this special to Stolas like Fizz was with Ozzie? Possibly yes otherwise Stolas wouldn't dispose of him like that. Talking about feelings but then teleporting him out. Why didn't he listen? Blitzø had so much to say but getting kicked out was answer enough.
He stands up going to the bathroom. In the mirror above the sink he sees himself ugly scars around his face, dark circles under his eyes and the rest just looked like sh*t. He sat down on the side of the bathtub crying again.
What was the point of ‘living’ anyways. Moxxie and Millie are working for him because of the money and Loona only lived with him because he gave her a better option than dying at the animal shelter. And Fizz well he was nice and all but that could be because he was better off pretending that nothing happened in the past so that he could forget everything negative. Blitzø was the reason everyone suffers and there's no chance of continuing that.
He opens the drawer and pulls out a razor. He opens it and gets the blade out. Before he could do anything he already pressed the sharp metal against his skin on his arms and drew a line. At first he hesitates but at least the pain lets him feel something different than these thoughts.
Line after line he drew. And only when he felt droplets on his feet was when he looked clear at his arm. His full underarm was covered in blood.
“sh*t” Blitzø mumbles as he grabbed a towel and pressed it on his arm. He searched around the bathroom finding a first aid kit. He opened it and pulled out a bandage as well as some alcohol.
As he removed the bloody towel he dumped the alcohol on his arm. At first he hissed at the burning but then he relaxed. His wounds were now less bleeding and he bandaged the arm.
After he cleaned the bathroom he got rid of the towel and laid down to sleep.
~
Days after days got by and no matter what he tried nothing stopped him from being so depressed. He tried drowning himself in work but it didn't help. His thoughts remained awful and he continued to self harm his body starting from his underarms now moving to his thighs. He somehow found pleasure in it and it washed away his thoughts even if only for some minutes.
Not to worry anyone he dressed himself in long hoodies and no one seemed to notice until one day he collapsed in the bathroom. He cutted himself too deep and went unconscious.
“Dad, come out of the bathroom!” Loona yelled and got no response. Loona suddenly sniffed the air and smelled blood. But it wasn't human blood.
“Dad, come out now!” She yelled again but this time with panic. But still there was no response.
She kicked the door open, breaking the hinges but that didn't matter. in the bathtub sat Blitzo unconscious and covered in countless cuts. Some were fresh and some were already white.
“The f*ck dad!” She screamed and used his shirt to stop the bleeding. He was still alive even if his pulse was very weak. Loona could hear him breathe but also very faint.
She lifted him up and carried him to the van. Without thinking twice she drove him to the hospital.
~
Loona sat there and waited. She'd already called Millie and Moxxie and after some minutes passed, they arrived.
“What happened to him?” Moxxie asked and Loona looked down on her lap tears falling from her eyes.
“I wanted to go to the bathroom but noticed that the door was locked and I got no response from him. And then I kicked the door and found him in the bathtub covered in blood and his body was covered in fresh cuts but also fainted ones. I can't believe that he did this to himself and we didn't notice. I mean these fainted cuts are at least two weeks old.” Loona cried and Millie hugged her. Nobody said anything and after some silence a nurse came into the waiting room.
“He's lucky that you found him. I'm not asking where his wounds are from but some of them are so deep that he could've died. He's now in, his body needs rest and he also got blood infusions. I'd recommend being quiet when you enter the room.” The nurse says and looks a bit sad.
Loona stood up and Millie and Moxxie followed her. The sight of Blitzo was terrifying. He lay there with countless machines connected to him and his arms and upper body were covered in bandages. He looked so peaceful if it wasn't for the situation he was in. Nobody said a word, the only sound was a regular beep from one of the machines.
Loona sat down on the chair next to Blitzo and held his hand softly. As the nurse said, they were quiet.
~
C'mon Loona he'll be fine. This is by far one of the best hospitals here. Go home and get some sleep you're here for almost 2 days and you haven't slept or eaten much.” Moxxie said and Millie agreed.
“If anything happens the nurses have your phone number and will call you.” After some minutes Loona squeezes his dad's hand and goes home. She cleaned the bathroom and made herself some food in the microwave. After she ate she sat down on her bed and pulled out her phone. She wasn't really on her phone the last two days and was surprised when she saw a message from Octavia.
‘Hey Loona I hope you're doing well. Did you notice anything strange about your dad? Mine is down and depressed lately. If you can, please call me.’ ~ Octavia
Loona frowned and without hesitation she called Octavia.
“Hey Loona are you alright you haven't answered my messages that's untypical for you?” Octavia asked, concerned. After the incident where Octavia traveled to the human world they both became friends and called from time to time.
“A lot of sh*t happened…btw what do you mean about your dad?” Loona asked.
“Idk he is so weird lately he isolated himself and drowns himself in work he's normal to me but I can feel that something is off. And the only thing that could be the cause is your dad. They were supposed to meet some weeks ago and when I came back from my mother's visit I noticed it.” Octavia says sad.
“My dad actually isn't doing well as well. He's in the hospital. I guess something happened between them.” Loona says.
"What? Why is he in the hospital and what does it have to do with my dad?” Octavia asks worriedly. She didn't like Blitzo because she thinks that he's the reason his family is the way it is, but still he made his dad happy so she is worried a bit.
“I found him covered in blood. He self harmed himself and almost died while doing so…We didn't notice but the last two days made me realize so much. He f*cking erased himself from every picture in our apartment how haven't we noticed and why did it had to be this way...” Loona started to cry again.
“I always thought of him as selfish but it looks like I wronged him. I need to tell my dad what happened. because there's no way that this has nothing to do with them.”
Octavia hung up the phone and walked over to Stolas library he used to work in. She knocked softly and heard an annoyed “I'm busy working, who is it?” from Stolas.
She opens the big door and her father's annoyed expression melts into a soft one.
“Oh I'm sorry my starfire I didn't want to be annoyed with you. What is?” He says and stands up. He's clearly tired, his whole face looks like he cried last night and his body language is not as enthusiastic as it was.
“It's about Blitz.” Octavia said and she noticed how Stolas body tensed when he heard the name.
“If you're worried about him, don't be. He won't come-” Stolas gets interrupted by Octavia.
“He harmed himself and almost died…” She says and looks Stolas in the eye.
“He did what?” Stolas expression went from annoyed to worried in an instant and his second pair of eyes clearly showed how worried he was.
“Loona found him in his bathtub covered in cuts and if she hadn't helped him, he would've died. What happened between the two of you?” Octavia asked.
“Via I…well I ended the deal we had because he didn't love me and all I did was force him to stay with me…” Stolas said.
“You did what? I'm sorry dad but even I could sense that this imp liked you. I talked with Loona about him and he has some issues yeah and he can be an asshole. But he cares so deeply for the people he loves and Loona told me how happy he was to see you on the full moon. He even spends so much money on things to buy for you even though he's tight on it.” Octavia explained and Stolas frowned.
“That can't be true he said awful things to me.” Stolas said.
“I'm not sure what happened but you need to talk with him. I mean he tried to kill himself and I'm sure that he didn't do that for fun.” Octavia said and Stolas nodded.
They drove to the hospital and were greeted by the nurses.
“How can we help your majesty? Is something wrong with your wound?” She asked.
“Thanks for the concern but no I'm fine. I'm here to visit a patient named Blitzo.” He said.
“Are you related to him? Because if you aren't I'm not allowed-'' She interrupted my Stolas hand.
“He's a friend of mine and I'm here on royal duties to check up on him. You will allow me to visit won't you?” Stolas says with some force in his voice.
“O-of course you majesty he's in room 48 a. I'll guide you.” She says but Stolas shakes his head.
“There's no need to. I know where to go.” He said and went to the room with Octavia. He knocked at the door and saw Millie and Moxxie in the chairs. They both exchange a look and go out without a word.
“He looks so peaceful.” Stolas said and steps towards Blitzo who still hasn't woken up.
He sat down on a chair and took his hand. The hand he held was cold and his pulse was slow, his breathing even.
“Why did you do this to yourself?” Stolas . Octavia looks at Blitzo and decides to leave them alone. She sat down outside the room where Millie and Moxxie sat.
“Why are you here?” Moxxie asks.
“Loona told me that Blitz is in the hospital and yeah now we are here.” Octavia said.
“You do know that this thing is your dads fault? Since the full moon date he was different. We didn't pay much attention to it but now after what happened it should've been clear.” Millie says and looks angry. She likes Blitzo and seeing him in such a state makes her angry and sad at the same time.
“I'm sorry but this is something we shouldn't meddle about. Hopefully he recovers soon.” Octavia mumbles.
After spending some time with Blitzo Stolas and Octavia drove back home.
“Hey dad I know everyone tries to blame someone but that's not what's important right now. it's important for him to recover and wake up from his coma.” Octavia said and Stolas sayed nothing. He couldn't, he felt like crying but not in front of anyone. He learned that crying shows weakness and beside Blitzo no one ever saw him cry.
When they arrived they both went to their rooms. In his bedroom Stolas started to cry hot tears flowed down his face and he couldn't stop.
He collapsed on the bed and cried.
How could he not notice? He blamed himself and after some time he's exhausted and sleeps.
~
A couple of days go by. Stolas visits him everyday and makes sure to always bring fresh flowers. On a Saturday evening Stolas visited again and as he always did he held his hand.
“Oh Blitz, I should've known better than to kick you out…” Stolas whispers and grabs his hand with his and holds it close to his forehead.
As always he doesn't respond or move but after some minutes Stolas can feel that Blitzo hand twitches slightly and he looks at Blitzos face, his eyelids fluttering.
“Blitz, can you hear me?” Stolas says softly and squeezes Blitzos hand. Blitzos eyes flutter open a little bit and he looks weak at Stolas. He tries to stay calm and tells him that he's in the hospital. Blitzo didn't really react but his eyes moved a bit.
“I'll go and bring a nurse. I'll be right back.” Stolas says and comes back with a nurse.
The nurse did some checkups and looked at Stolas.
"He's really weak. I wouldn't recommend overcharging him. Let him have his rest. The doctor will have a look at him later, but for now just stay by his side." Stolas nods and the nurses exist.
"I'm so proud of you..." Stolas says and tears well up in his eyes.
"We will get through this. Together hand in hand and now rest my little one..." Stolas says and Blitzo blinks at him. Tears forming in his eyes but he stays silent. After some minutes of intense eye contact he closes his eyes and sleeps.
"I love you Blitzo" Stolas whispers and to his surprise Blitzo responds with a quiet "Me too"
~THE END~
